In what way will it report back? Urgently.
What sort of priority will it have? The highest.
What will the report do? It will land on the PM’s desk.
What will be called for in the report? Better information sharing.
How will this be achieved? By departments working smarter.
What will result from the report? A drive.
What will be done to the drive? It will be spearheaded.
What will the spearheaded drive have? The PM’s blessing.
What will he lend to it? His weight.
In what way will he do this? He will call a Downing Street Summit.
What sort of spectrum of society will attend the summit? A wide one.
What privacy experts will attend? Shami Chakrabati & Simon Davies
And what sort of industrialists? Top.
How long will the summit last? It will be an all-day summit.
And what will the attendees actually do? They will pose for a photograph.
What sort of squad will be appointed as a result of the summit? A hit squad.
And what will happen to this hit squad? It will be spearheaded.
By what kind of leader will it be spearheaded? An Information Tsar.
What kind of task will the Tsar have? An urgent one.
What type of barriers will they tackle? Public concern & privacy threats.
How will they tackle these concerns? By reassuring individuals.
In what way will they be answerable to the Prime Minister? Directly.
What will the Tsar propose? Information sharing measures.
What type of measures? A whole raft.
What will the Prime Minister do with measures? He will take them on board.
What will then be set by the Prime Minister? A target.
Can you be more specific about this target? It will be a performance target.
What adjective best describes this performance target? Tough.
What must happen to this performance target? It must be measured up to.
How will this “measuring up” be expressed? In league tables.
How will those not sharing be punished? They will be named & shamed.
Who will be sent in when information is not shared? A data hit squad.
What adjective best describes the powers of the hit squad? Wide-ranging.
What type of anxieties could arise from this? Very real ones.
What will the PM do to these anxieties? He will address them.
What further action will he take? He will take them on board.
What person will the PM appoint? A privacy watchdog.
What will this watchdog possess? Teeth.
Where will the watchdog report? Back.
In what way? Urgently.
To help with the project who will join in? The big society.
What kind of approach would they have? A no-nonsense approach.
What would be harnessed? Their energy and their goodwill.
What will then be called for on the Today programme? More resources.
How will the Chancellor stand? Firm.
In what way will the PM react? He will not be dictated to.
What is the result likely to be? A privacy crisis.
How will this crisis manifest? By extended news bulletins & public concern
How will the crisis be solved? The PM will set up a task force.
With acknowledgements to Oliver Pritchett who wrote the original in 2000.